


Her First Crush

by allANN



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2016-01-30
Packaged: 2018-05-17 05:39:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5856268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allANN/pseuds/allANN
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Octavia watched as her Second handed her sweat-soaked horse off to one of the stable hands. Once the girl had disappeared in the masses of people coming out to breakfast, she walked over to the young man, still holding the reigns of the horse, and spoke, "How long has she been out there?"</p>
<p>"She was gone before I got here this morning, ma'am," the grounder stable hand responded.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

When the girl rolled out of bed it was still dark outside. She blindly pulled on a shirt and pants, then laced up her boots. Finally, she buckled her quiver onto her back, slide her dagger into its sheath on her thigh, and grabbed her bow. She made her way out to the training grounds just as the sun was peeking over the mountains and into TonDC. 

She saddled up her horse as the morning fog burned away. When her horse was ready, she swung her leg over its side and set out on the training course. 

\-------------------------------------------

Octavia watched as her Second handed her sweat-soaked horse off to one of the stable hands. Once the girl had disappeared in the masses of people coming out to breakfast, she walked over to the young man, still holding the reigns of the horse, and spoke, "How long has she been out there?"

"She was gone before I got here this morning, ma'am," the grounder stable hand responded.

Octavia nodded, and then made her way to breakfast. She sat next to Lincoln, leaning into him to stay warm in the still-crisp morning air. "She was out before the sun rose again?" Lincoln murmured. 

"Mhm," Octavia responded, her mouth full of food. She watched as her Second ate breakfast with the other warriors that were her age. The 17 year-old seemed fine, she was smiling and joking around along with the rest of them. Octavia frowned, "I'm worried about her, but I don't know why."

Lincoln chuckled, "you'll figure it out. Go lead morning training."

\---------------------------------------------

It had been 18 years since Mount Weather had fallen, and the Sky People were almost totally integrated into the grounder culture. Lexa essentially commanded two outposts within one clan. 

During afternoon training, the 17 year-old was helping Octavia with the younger warriors. The tall, lanky blonde walked among the pre-teens correcting grips and adjusting body position. Octavia was standing on the side watching when Raven walked up to her. "Hey, Reyes," Octavia grinned. 

"Sup, O. How's my kid doing?" Raven asked, watching proudly as her daughter demonstrated a move for the younger kids. 

"Ashton's doing great. She loves working with the kids," Octavia responded, smiling fondly at her Second. 

At that moment Ashton looked up, and saw her mom talking to her mentor. "Mom! Hey! What are you doing in TonDC?" She said as she hugged the shorter woman. 

"Had to pick up some parts for your dad," Raven explained, returning the hug. 

"How's his arm doing?" Octavia interjected. After defeating the Mountain Men, the clans went back to a somewhat tumultuous peace. While the clans were not entirely at war, skirmishes still occurred, and warriors were required to defend their land. 

"It's almost better. Kyle's just a wimp, and I wanted to see our daughter," Raven said, turning to smile even bigger at her daughter. The girl had the exact same nose, mouth, and smile as her mom, but her blonde hair and blue eyes were from her dad. "Well, I've got to get going if I'm going to be back before dark," Raven conceded. "Bye, O," she hugged Octavia before turning to her daughter, "Ash, be good for O."

"Mom, it's literally clan rules that I don't question her," Ashton said, rolling her eyes, but still returning her mother's hug. 

"Bye, Rav!" Octavia called out. 

"Bye, Mom!" Ashton grumbled. 

"Alright, you lot!" Octavia yelled, gathering the younger kids, and sending them to dinner before following with her Second. "So you went out early, this morning," Octavia started, "again."

Ashton looked down, as the two walked to dinner, "do you not want me to? I can just workout on the training grounds in the morning if it's too early to take out my horse."

"Ash, that's not the issue. Why have you gone out early every day this week?" Octavia gave the teenager a chance to respond and when the girl didn't, Octavia continued. "You aren't competing to be my Second anymore, you earned that, fair and square."

"I know," Ashton mumbled. They were nearing the dining area when Ashton bumped into to someone, spilling food down the front of her shirt. "I'm sorry!" Ashton exclaimed. 

"No worries, Ash," A shorter girl with dark hair and dark eyes responded. "Do you want to get in line to get more food with me?" 

When Ashton didn't respond for an awkward few seconds, Octavia stepped in, "Why don't you go with Emma, Ash." The older woman pushed her Second in Emma's direction. "I'm going to go find Clarke!" 

Octavia skipped the food line, and immediately sat down next to Clarke, who was sitting at a table alone with Lexa. "Heda," Octavia said, nodding to her commander, respectfully before speaking. "You guys, I have to tell you something."

"Yes, Octavia?" Lexa asked, rolling her eyes. The other woman regularly greeted her respectfully before treating her as a friend. 

"I think Ash has a crush."

"Ash?" Clarke asked, one eyebrow raised. "Our Ash?" She asked again, disbelievingly. 

"Ash hasn't looked at a boy like that...ever," Lexa deadpanned. 

"You're right, Lexa, she hasn't," Octavia grinned mischievously. 

Clarke watched Ashton curiously for a few minutes before understanding dawned on her face. "Oh my god, no way! No way!" Clarke almost squealed, attracting some looks. 

"Clarke, shhh!" 

Lexa looked between the two, confusion written across her face. "What am I missing?"

"Lex, casually look behind you, and watch Ash and her dinner partner for a second."

"Ash is blushing," Lexa observed turning back around after watching Ashton and Emma for a second. 

"I know! Is this her first crush?" Octavia asked Clarke. 

"My warriors don't have crushes," Lexa declared, frowning. 

"Lex, please, of course they do!" Clarke immediately shut her life partner down. "We're only human after all." Clarke was the head of the clan's medical corps. She was also a warrior, but medicine had become her priority for the clan as her mom aged. 

"Yikes," Octavia exclaimed quietly, putting her head in her hands. 

"What?" Lexa asked, quickly. 

"Ash just spilled her water all over herself," Octavia grinned, ruefully. "Come on, kid! Keep it together!" She mumbled, under her breath. 

"She should be focused on her training," Lexa insisted. 

"You're not focused on your training all the time," Clarke shot back. 

"Yes, I am!"

"What about when we're-"

"Clarke, don't finish that sentence," Lexa rushed out, turning bright red. 

"Don't worry, Commander, my lips are sealed," Octavia replied, evilly. "But on a different note, I wanted to talk to you guys about Ash."

"Is she okay?" Clarke asked around a bite of food. 

"Physically, yeah. She's in great fighting condition and she's training hard. But, like, TOO hard," Octavia said, emphasizing the 'too'.

"A warrior cannot train too hard," Lexa responded. 

"She's been getting up before sunrise every morning for the past week and riding the training course at least twice before doing all her daily training."

"She's going to get injured if she's not careful. A warrior knows when to stop," Clarke said, eyeing Lexa, challenging her to say something back. 

"I know! But she won't tell me what her problem is. And I know her, I know there's a problem," Octavia insisted. 

"I believe you, O. Lex or I will try to talk to her, and see what's going on."

"Thanks, I'm going to go eat. Enjoy your romantic dinner for two!" Octavia called walking off.


	2. Chapter 2

It was a few days later when Clarke finally got a chance to talk to Ashton. The girl had come into the medical ward with a bloody nose. 

"Lexa! It's fine!" Ashton insisted. 

"Ashton," Lexa growled, using the girl's full name. 

"Ugh, fine," Ashton gave in, sitting down on Clarke's examination table. Ashton was close with Clarke and Lexa because of their friendship with her mom. They were essentially her aunts, but Lexa was still her commander and she knew when a battle was lost. 

"Hey, Ash," Clarke walked in, drying her hands from having just washed them. "Hi, love," the blonde pecked Lexa on the lips. "What's up?"

"Ashton has a bloody nose," Lexa responded, simply. 

"I see that," Clarke used a warm washcloth to wipe the caked blood away from Ashton's nose. "How'd it happen?"

"Lexa hit me with her shield," Ashton grumbled. 

"Lex!" Clarke exclaimed, a little annoyed at her partner. 

A loud crack resounded throughout the room that coincided with Ashton's yell, "Damn it!" 

"Sorry, hon," Clarke murmured, "my lovely Lexa also BROKE your nose." Clarke and Lexa were more open with their affection around people they treated like family. 

"Sorry, Ash," Lexa apologized, "but you have never been hit during that exercise before, and we have done it much faster..."

"Sorry," Ashton mumbled. 

"What happened?" Lexa asked, tilting her head sideways. 

"Nothing," Ashton said, turning red. 

"Are you blushing?" Clarke pressed, leaning against another table in the room and crossing her arms. 

"No," Ashton growled. 

"Wait, no, you definitely are blushing," Clarke decided. "Hey, Lex?"

"Yes?" Lexa answered. 

"Who was in your training group this morning?" Clarke followed up. 

"Why?"

"Humor me?" Clarke said, looking at her partner lovingly. 

"Fine. Hazen, Aisling, John, Miles, uhh, Ash," Lexa nodded towards Ashton, "Lee, Deaglan, Emma, and Sara."

"So, Ash, are you sure you don't want to tell us why you got hit?" Clarke asked, giving the girl one more chance to tell them herself. 

"I got hit because Lexa hit me."

"It wasn't because you were distracted by Emma?" Clarke countered, quickly. 

"No! It wasn't," Ashton responded harshly, storming out of the tent. 

"Whoa," Clarke said into the silence that remained in the medical tent after Ashton had stormed out. 

"What is wrong with her?" Lexa asked, confused and slightly offended by Ashton's outburst. 

"The same thing that was wrong with me when I first had a crush on you," Clarke mumbled. 

"But..she, she didn't have to.." Lexa trailed off, knowing Clarke would understand. 

"No, not that, I'm not talking about Finn, or anything related to death. It's, it's just, I don't know, it's scary to feel things you aren't ready for."

"And why were you not ready to feel for me?" Lexa timidly inquired. 

"Oh, Lex, it had nothing to do with you," Clarke said, sitting down and pulling Lexa into her lap. "It was more the intensity of what I felt, and I was SO not expecting to feel that way for a girl. It blindsided me. I needed to get used to it, and I am very in touch with my emotions and my romantic side. Ashton, on the other hand, runs from everything remotely romantic or touchy-feely."

Lexa nodded fondly, leaning back into Clarke's body, then spoke softly, "she still scrunches her nose when we kiss."

"Yeah," Clarke sighed, giggling a little. "I think she's never had a problem avoiding thinking about someone romantically or sexually, and now that she has a crush on Emma, she probably doesn't get why she can't STOP thinking about it."

"That is why she has been rising early."

"What?" Clarke's muffled reply prompted Lexa to elaborate. 

"She is trying to tire herself out so she is too tired to think about it," Lexa explained. 

"You sound like you speak from experience," Clarke guessed, while kissing the side of Lexa's neck. 

"When I first met you, I couldn't stop thinking about you. After trying everything I could to exhaust myself, I finally kissed you," Lexa tilted her head to the side to allow Clarke more access. 

"And what about now? Do you still think about me?" Clarke stood up, holding onto Lexa's thighs, and placing the dark haired woman down on the examination table. 

"Yes," Lexa replied, breathlessly, "all of the time."

Clarke climbed on top of Lexa, sucking and biting her way down her lover's throat. Lexa grabbed Clarke and pulled the blonde back up to her lips. Clarke pulled off Lexa's shirt, their lips disconnecting only to remove the offending piece of material. She slipped Lexa's bra off, her hand trailing up to the other's woman's breast, when the door opened and Abby walked in. 

"Mom!" Clarke exclaimed, basically throwing herself off of Lexa, and trying to shield her from Abby's view. Meanwhile, Lexa was desperately trying to straighten her now mussed hair and pull her shirt back on. 

"Hi, Clarke, Lexa," Abby deadpanned, turning her back to Lexa, so that she could get dressed. 

"You could knock, Mom," Clarke complained, her face and chest bright red. 

Abby rolled her eyes, "you could lock the door, Clarke." 

Clarke covered her face with her hands, plopping down into a chair. "This is so embarrassing. I feel like I'm 16 again."

"Aww, don't be embarrassed," Abby replied grinning evilly, "you've been together for years, I know you two have sex."

"Mom!"

"Of course that doesn't mean I want to see it," Abby continued as if Clarke hadn't said anything. Lexa was staring at the ground, embarrassed at having been caught by her partner's mom. "It's okay, Lex," Abby said, giving the now fully clothed woman a side hug, "I still love you."

"What do you need, Mom?" Clarke asked, impatiently. 

"Ash walked out of here a few minutes ago looking kind of upset. She definitely had dried blood on her shirt, and it looked like she was trying not to cry," Abby explained, turning serious very quickly. 

"Okay, I'll go talk to her," Clarke volunteered herself, making her way out of the room. 

"Is Ash okay?" Abby asked Lexa, after Clarke left. 

"She's fine, physically. Clarke believes she has a crush on a girl and is struggling with her emotions," Lexa related to a concerned Abby. 

"Emma?" Abby questioned, smiling slightly. 

"How did you know?"

"She may not be Clarke and your daughter, but you two have had more influence on her than you'd think. After learning to read your's and Clarke's faces, reading her face is simple. She fights emotion like you do, but she fights WITH it how Clarke did."

"Did Clarke fight for long with her feelings for me?" Lexa said, finally looking at Abby. 

"Lexa, all the fighting Clarke did with her feelings for you had nothing to do with you."

"I know," Lexa nodded. 

"But if it makes you feel better," Abby comforted, sitting next to Lexa on the table and putting an arm around her, "she was only confused because of how strongly she felt towards you. She loves you, darling, even after 19 years together."

"Thank you, Abby," Lexa sighed. Lexa had never had a mother, but Abby had become one to her over the years.


	3. Chapter 3

Clarke finally found Ashton in a tree at the edge of camp. "Ash," Clarke called up, "can we talk?" When Ashton didn't respond, Clarke began to climb the tree. At fifteen feet from the ground, Clarke found a comfortable perch next to Ashton. "Did you think I wouldn't be able to reach you up here? I taught you everything you know about climbing trees," Clarke grumbled.

"Not true," Ashton shot back, more aggressively than she needed to, "Octavia and Lexa helped."

"Babe, what's wrong?" Clarke asked the girl, gently. 

"Nothing, I'm fine," Ashton stated, staring resolutely forward, refusing to blink for fear the tears in her eyes would overflow. 

"Ashton, look at me," Clarke demanded, softly. When Ashton didn't turn her head, Clarke gently gripped her niece's chin, and made the girl look at her, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Ashton emphasized the word 'wrong.'

"Okay, fine, nothing's wrong. But what's bothering you," Clarke continued when she saw Ashton open her mouth quickly, "don't say nothing's bothering you. Because O and Lex and I have all noticed it."

"I don't know! I don't know what's wrong with me," Ashton burst out, a tear leaking out of her eye and falling down her cheek. 

Clarke reached up a brushed the tear away, "talk to me, love. I can help sort your head out."

"How do you know you can help?" Ashton asked in a small voice. 

"'Cause I've been where you are, Ash. At least let me try to help?" Ashton nodded slightly, but then didn't say anything. "Ash, I'm not going to judge you, I promise. Anything you say, I will not repeat to anyone, not even Lex and my Mom."

Finally, after a minute of silence, Ashton started talking, "I feel like my body is doing stuff I can't control."

"Okay, how?"

"Like, I've been falling and bumping into things more. During the last three dinners, I've knocked over water at two of them," Ashton stopped abruptly. 

"I know there's more. Come on, sweetheart, you know you don't need to hide anything from me," Clarke put a hand out to rub the girl's back softly. 

"I can't talk in front of her."

"In front of who?" Clarke prodded. 

"Emma," Ashton whispered so quietly Clarke almost didn't hear her. "Every time she's around I feel kind of sick. Well, no, not sick, but, like, my stomach is uncomfortable?"

"Butterflies."

"Huh?" Ashton said, ungracefully. 

"They're called butterflies. It's when you get nervous around someone you like," Clarke explained, patiently, "it feels like butterflies flying around in your stomach."

"But for some reason I still want to be around her," Ashton admitted. 

Clarke nodded in understanding, "And at training today? Were you distracted because you were talking to her?"

"No, I didn't talk to her all morning," Ashton mumbled bitterly. 

Clarke raised her eyebrows slightly, "who was she talking to?"

"Aisling."

"Is that why you were distracted? 'Cause her talking to Aisling was making you jealous?" Clarke asked, gently. 

"I hate that feeling," Ashton vehemently stated. 

Clarke nodded in sympathy, "and why have you been riding in the mornings?"

Ashton looked at her hands, her face heating up quickly. She didn't respond. 

"Ash?" Clarke sighed, "Hon, how many times do I have to tell you, I won't judge you! Whatever you're feeling, I've probably felt the same way before. We're a lot alike, babe."

"I, umm..I'm good at focusing, you know?" 

Clarke nodded her agreement. 

"But, um, recently, I, um, I don't know how to say this."

"Keep trying," Clarke encouraged. 

"Okay, um," Ashton took a deep breath, "I've, at night, I, uh...I...I..."

"You've been dreaming?"

Ashton nodded, still staring down at her hands. 

"About Emma?"

Ashton nodded again. "Like, sexually," the girl finally choked out. "And I can't stop it."

"So you've been trying to tire yourself out to make it go away?" Clarke confirmed. 

"Yeah," Ashton whispered. 

"Ash? There's nothing to be ashamed of here. Sexual dreams are totally normal," Clarke tried to comfort the girl. 

"But I don't want them! I want them to stop! I've been so tired these past few days, and I still have them," tears had begun to fall from Ashton's eyes. 

"I'm sorry to say they won't go away from just exercising more," Clarke lamented. 

"Why?" Tears were now streaming down Ashton's face. 

"C'mere, babe," Clarke said, pulling Ashton into her lap, 15 feet in the air. This was much different than how she had held Lexa before. She hugged Ashton to her, and let the girl cry while she rubbed her back. "There's nothing wrong with wanting to kiss someone, sweetheart. And there's nothing wrong with wanting to have sex with someone either!"

"But I feel guilty every time I wake up. Like, I violated her or something," Ashton explained. 

"Sweetie, you can't control what you dream. Chemicals in your brain do that. Do you understand that there is nothing wrong with wanting someone in that way?" Clarke asked. Ashton nodded against Clarke's shoulder. "We can ask Lexa how she stopped her dreams like that," Clarke dropped that bomb hoping it would cheer up her niece. 

"Lexa had this problem?" Ashton all but gasped. 

"Yup, and apparently she asked my mom for help with it," Clarke deadpanned. 

"Oh my god! Were they about you?"

"Mhm," Clarke confirmed. "And you know what my mom said?"

"What?"

"She told Lexa to kiss me. She said, 'just kiss her and your problem will be solved.' And she did, and the rest is history," Clarke reminisced. 

"Are you telling me to 'just kiss' Emma?" Ashton asked, incredulously. 

"No, well, sort of, but no. You should probably get to know her first. Can we climb down from this tree and find my mom? She's been dying to tease you about Emma for weeks, now," Clarke grinned, starting to climb down. 

"She knew?! How did she know? I didn't even know myself until a few days ago," Ashton exclaimed. 

"My mom has known me and Lexa and Raven and Octavia for the better part of our lives. Since you're basically a hybrid of all of us, she could probably predict almost everything you do," Clarke said, swinging from the last branch onto the ground. 

"That's equal parts comforting and creepy," Ashton mumbled. 

"Yeah, I would try and focus on the comforting part," Clarke said, putting her arm around Ashton and pulling her close as they walked back to Lexa and her tent. 

"I'm still scared, Clarke," Ashton said, after walking quietly for a few minutes. 

"I know, sweetheart. Sometimes I'm still scared when I'm with Lexa."

"Why?" Ashton asked. 

"I don't know. Sometimes I feel things for her, and I don't know how to communicate with her or I'm not sure how she'll react to something. But, sweetie, it's okay to feel scared, do you get that?" Clarke pulled Ashton a little closer into her side. 

Ashton nodded as the two ducked into Clarke's medical headquarters. Abby was still sitting on the table with Lexa, chatting quietly. 

"Everybody good?" Abby asked, when she noticed Ashton's slightly redder than normal eyes. 

Clarke looked to Ashton who answered, "yup, I'm good."

Abby looked to Clarke for confirmation, not really believing the girl who was essentially her granddaughter, "she's fine, Mom. We had a little heart to heart, it's good."

Ashton scrunched her nose, "we did not have a 'heart to heart' Abby."

"What did you have then, Ash?" Abby shot back, smiling. 

"We, uh..we talked about you."

"Really?" Abby looked at Clarke raising her eyebrows. 

"Yeah, and your advice to Lexa," Ashton said, grinning evilly at a now very red Lexa. 

"And Ash, how did that come up?" Abby chuckled, putting an arm around Lexa, letting the women know she had her back. 

"Oh. Um, uh..nevermind," Ashton said. 

"Were you talking about Emma?" Abby asked, mischievously. 

"Um, I, no?"

"So you were talking about someone else?" Abby shot back. 

"No," Ash replied. Understanding she had lost the battle, she elaborated, "it was Emma."


End file.
